Weight Loss Diary

December 10th, 2018 Getting Closer

December 10th, 2018 Getting Closer
December 10th, 2018 Getting Closer

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

We're getting closer to Christmas, oh my!! The weekend was filled with Christmas activities. I didn't complete all of the Christmas things I had planned, but still, it was productive. Mom wasn't feeling her best last night, so we opted out of the Christmas in Jazz big band concert and settled into a dinner and Christmas lights plan for her Sunday outing. It worked well.

I'll be spending a little time preparing each day this week for Saturday's private stand-up performance. I don't do it very often, so it takes some serious prep. Back in the day when I was doing it all the time, it was easy because I was always practiced and ready with my set--open with some custom material written specifically for the client, then regular set with the normal closer, then a big custom closer for the client--and done. I don't necessarily have a "regular set" these days. Back in practice, I could do it in my sleep. It takes a little more effort when you book only one or two gigs a year! But it'll be great. The skill set needed to perform is deeply ingrained--that part is like riding a bike. Now the challenge becomes, what'll make these people laugh and have a good time? I'll find it!

My morning routine is complete. My food plan is set. I'm poised and ready for a good Monday.

Featured Tweet:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public. 
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 17 episodes waiting for you! More new episodes coming soon! (Don't laugh! Seriously, very soon! Okay, that deserves a laugh actually, but for real, more episodes coming soon!)


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December 9th, 2018 Made My Day

December 9th, 2018 Made My Day

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Noah and I enjoyed breakfast together yesterday morning. Right in the middle of breakfast, out of the blue, he says, "Po Po, I love you." That, to me, is the best. It made my day.

I took him for a haircut before embarking on our Christmas adventures to a couple of museums hosting Christmas themed events. He wanted to see Santa yesterday--and mission accomplished! We almost missed Santa--thank goodness Kristin thought to call Santa's helper to let him know we were five minutes away!! He was the last little fella to see Santa- he was so happy!



















We really got lucky with the weather yesterday. The forecast called for all kinds of wintery stuff. Fortunately, it was just cold. We can handle cold!

I'm working on a few of my personal projects today. I certainly have the energy for 'em after sleeping in like a champ. I slept for just shy of nine hours. It was glorious! I needed it.

My morning routine is complete and I'm about to prepare my first meal of the day, do some apartment cleaning, and head to the studio to get some of my personal work done. I'll be making a good exercise session important too, before picking up mom for our usual Sunday evening store and dinner trip. There's a free big band Christmas in Jazz concert tonight at the theatre--so that just might be a holiday happening for us as well. 

Featured Tweet:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public. MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seananderson505
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 17 episodes waiting for you! More new episodes coming soon! (Don't laugh! Seriously, very soon! Okay, that deserves a laugh actually, but for real, more episodes coming soon!)

from The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser https://ift.tt/2SAbOIV

December 8th, 2018 Open To The Blessings

December 8th, 2018 Open To The Blessings

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Yesterday was a wonderful experience. It showed me the power of perspective, gratitude, and reframing challenges. Staying in a gratitude based mindset allowed me to be open to the blessings and opportunities of yesterday.

It was a long day. There wasn't a break between work and the evening Christmas activity plans with Noah. The normal pattern I fall into wasn't going to work yesterday. There wouldn't be a midafternoon refresher nap. Breaking the pattern yesterday showed me how that can work and work well on other days and for other things important to me. I think that's the key right there, "things important to me." 

The Christmas parade was last night. Treating Noah to the experience was very important to me. That boy loves Christmas in so many different ways. Just watching and experiencing the purest joy coming from him is a blessing that has the power to bring emotional reactions to the surface. Witnessing his enthusiasm is truly a gift. He was literally dancing in the street. Candy was being thrown everywhere and of course, he was scrambling to pick up as much as possible, filling my pockets-- but he was also doing the sweetest thing. He noticed some kids who were not as fast and furious--and for them, he would pick up and toss some of the candy their way--or kick it over in their direction. He didn't have to be told to share, he just naturally wanted to share. It was beautiful, really. 

The parade was just the start to our Christmas adventures last night. Dinner out, a tour of Christmas lights, and the Grinch movie all happened, too.

Our special night was truly amazing.
  


















Waiting for the parade!

Staying in a perspective of gratitude yesterday seemed to attract gratitude from others as well. Two different people yesterday expressed appreciation for me and what I do. One was a broadcasting client whose marketing efforts I handle and the other was a listener who just happened to be enjoying dinner at the table next to us. As he was leaving, he came over to our table to tell me how he loves my work. We shared a wonderful conversation. Later in the evening, he wrote a very nice message to our station's Facebook account, "Sean thanks for taking time out from your dinner to visit with me. It was great to finally meet you. I’d like to chat again sometime, Love your work." What a tremendous blessing in those two encounters!

Staying within the boundaries of my daily practice wasn't an issue yesterday. The day included some dynamics that could have easily turned me in a difficult direction. Of course, the moments and experiences worthy of my gratitude were right there in front of me--and that helped. On the days when seeing and appreciating those things requires more effort, I must remember the powerful difference the shift of attitude and gratitude can make.

Noah is still sleeping. My morning routine is complete. This blog is written and we have a couple more adventures ahead of us today before I take him back home later this afternoon.

I have a few personal goals I'm working on this weekend, too. Actually, these are more in the line of intentional actions supporting some personal goals of mine. Between tonight and tomorrow, it'll get 'em done!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

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December 7th, 2018 Working On This Stuff

December 7th, 2018 Working On This Stuff
December 7th, 2018 Working On This Stuff

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Yesterday was a good day. My food plan was good, I stayed connected with support, both giving and receiving, and I embraced the elements of my daily practice that must be done, come what may, each and every day. However...

I can identify many ways in which it could have been a better day, but I'm not going to list them here--my brain does it for me. I have a list of goals and somedays, my "good day" doesn't really make much progress on those. My "good day" keeps me well and I'm immensely grateful to be well. An extraordinary day would find me making even the smallest of progress on the goals and desires I've talked and written about many times.

I'm going to set some intentional action goals designed to get me moving forward instead of resting here in this groove. The groove is good but I don't want to sit here forever. I must start small with consistency. Consistency beats intensity--I've lived this, and it must be applied in areas outside of my familiar daily practice.

I've given a lot of thought--too much probably, to this "line of least resistance" dynamic. Asking myself compelling and open-ended questions is important--but the answers aren't as important as the doing of small, consistent, progressive intentional actions. If I do those, I believe it can actually help me find answers.

What is it that sometimes makes progress seem impossible? 

Do we feel “right at home?” To be where we are and remain here is to live around the line of least resistance, or so we might believe. But is our place at this line really easy? 

It's familiar, yes. On many levels, even comforting, because it's what we know. But is it easy when you consider all we sacrifice in its maintenance? 

Our identity, social interactions, and relationships all lean heavily against us wandering too far from the line we've called home. And when we decide to change, moving away from this place can be scary.

We gradually realize the potential effects of this liberation from what is known, transforms much more than what's on the surface; our bodies and wardrobes.

Is it easy at this line or have we simply become accustomed to adapting as needed to accommodate and preserve our place? 

When we regain, is it in part a subconscious retreat to familiar surroundings? 

In my opinion, the heart of the matter lies in what we choose in order to find and maintain a semblance of comfort and peace. And what we choose often lies to us in its promise. Excess food, or excess anything, might keep us “safe,” but it doesn't make anything easy and it doesn't fix anything. 

To choose change is brave, requiring large amounts of faith and commitment. Change isn't hard simply because it's different, it's just not familiar. The only way it becomes familiar is through practice. 

We redefine our line. 

And along the way we find ourselves transforming in ways we didn't expect. The line of least resistance isn't easy to maintain. It is familiar and that provides an illusion of ease.

Perhaps it isn't the line of least resistance—maybe it's the line of familiarity.

If we can practice and embrace the changes we desire long enough to become familiar and understanding, then perhaps we can change the baseline we call home.

I'll continue working on this stuff.

We're under a winter storm watch for today and tomorrow. The forecast is constantly changing! The Christmas parade is downtown tonight and I really wanted to bring Noah, but it might not be the best plan to be out on the road tonight. We'll see how it all develops.

My morning routine is complete. My food is packed, my phone is charged, I'm charged--and it's Friday!! Let's do this day!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean


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December 6th, 2018 To Grow

December 6th, 2018 To Grow

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.












































I like to go back into the archives every now and then and explore where I was at different points along the way. Sometimes it reveals patterns of struggle; things I've written about changing but haven't. Other times, it reveals a consistency in this daily practice that helps keep me well. When I looked back at one year ago today, I found a practice of elements I'm continuing to make important each day. This thing is far from perfect, believe me. There are so many ways in which I could really use improvement. I just keep on moving down this road and believing that if I continue making these things important, the other changes I desire will find fertile ground to grow.

From December 6th, 2018:
When I make time for exploring my gratitude list, it refocuses my energy to a very positive place. I paused to do that this morning. It was needed in those moments.

I enjoyed a surprise visit from a good friend today. Dave was just passing through and decided to pop in for a short visit. It made my day. I look up to him for so many reasons, not to mention he's one of the few comedy writers that can make me literally laugh out loud. I'm in awe of his talent. We agreed to do another stand-up comedy show together, very soon.

I included "before" and "healthy weight" photos tonight because looking at some of my old pictures reminds me of things I must always remember. My continued maintenance requires a daily practice that goes far beyond the food plan. It is the non-food elements that bring structure and support to my day. 

The list is long: Staying connected in support exchanges, doing my short morning meditations, positive visualizations, prayers, examining my gratitude list, helping someone else when and where I can, and keeping an honest inventory of things going well and things I'm willing to improve, and also--and this is a biggie--remembering to be kind to me. Minding the inner dialogue and shifting it from negative to positive, loving, and kind is paramount to my continued maintenance--and is certainly something requiring a daily practice.

It's interesting to me how freely automatic we extend kindness, compassion, care, and genuine concern for others, yet it takes a daily practice and regular reminders to extend the same to ourselves? Anyway, that's my experience.
------------------
I did not hop the bus to Funky Town yesterday and it turned out to be a better day. That self-involved party bus looks so inviting sometimes. I must remember the positive difference it makes when I let it pass on down the road.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean


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December 5th, 2018 Funky Town

December 5th, 2018 Funky Town
December 5th, 2018 Funky Town

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Some days are challenging in ways beyond the food. What I've learned is how, when I'm challenged in other ways it has the potential to creep into my food plan. Without too many personal details, I became exceptionally frustrated with a colleague yesterday. When someone creates more work for me because of the level of attention, consideration, and caring for their part is lacking, it upsets me! That's a normal reaction, right? I was not my regular self at work. I allowed my attitude to become infected early in the day. Then, I nurtured that negative energy for the better part of the day. Choosing to sit in that pool of funkiness was my decision. I took a trip to Funky Town and did some sightseeing. It didn't serve me well. I suppose some of the hardest things along this road are of a spiritual nature. 

It's interesting how quickly I can forget the serenity prayer in a situation like the one I just described. Without trying to go too deep into armchair psychological self-analysis on which I'm an amateur, I must ask myself-- How did my reaction serve me? What was I getting from this choice to be off-center most of the day? Why would I somehow convince myself that this off-center position was something put on me-a thing I had to own and be, instead of something I could freely choose to reframe? 

My food plan practice survived this funk but not without hints from its effect. I started thinking about lunch way too early. By 10:30am, I was ready to prepare a meal even though I wasn't hungry. I redirected that thinking pretty quickly, busied myself, and before long it was time for me and my funky attitude to go into the studio kitchen and prepare a meal and a more reasonable and appropriate time.

Two intentional actions that I could have focused on instead of the above-described stuff. could have been my gratitude list and reaching out to help someone else in support. I regularly do those two things unless I'm choosing to marinate in anger and frustration. If I'm marinating in that way, I'm completely self-centered and oblivious to the lifelines right in front of me. I made it to a mental place of gratitude later in the afternoon and I did connect with support, eventually, but I must remind myself of how the day could have been better had I turned my attitude, perspective, and focus in that direction about six hours earlier. A practice, right? Oh yeah--certainly.

My planning session meeting with the company hiring me to do standup at their private event went very well. The thought of writing 30-40 minutes of fresh material for a specific event was one that would normally fill me with anxiety, but since this will be my third performance for this company, I'm much less anxious. Plus, I've been told about half the people in attendance will be people who were not there for my previous performances.

I have so many things worthy of gratitude. If today starts to turn in the direction of yesterday, I will make an effort to get spiritually reconnected; reframing and refocusing on what's important. 

I made a store run last evening for a few things, including dinner items--then changed the dinner plan and prepared a meal I had on-hand. I'll save yesterday's groceries for this evening's dinner.

Oh--and I made it to bed shortly after 9pm last night! Yay me! I'm well rested and ready for a good Wednesday.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

from The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser https://ift.tt/2Qd4iqB

December 4th, 2018 Perfectly Capable

December 4th, 2018 Perfectly Capable
December 4th, 2018 Perfectly Capable

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I made a short trip to my hometown last night. I enjoyed a meeting with one of the members from the support group I facilitate. It's always a good experience to sit down and talk face to face about the challenges, practices, and victories along this road. We had plenty to talk about, that's for sure!

My hometown is ripe with all kinds of memories and situational triggers. The streets and drive-throughs of that town remember me well. Those familiar haunts helped keep me anything but well. Still, when I go, especially if I'm driving alone as I was last night, I make a point to stay connected with support friends. Those contacts and a prayer or two, help me drive past the scenes of so many binge episodes in my past. The memories of those days are vivid and scary to me. Knowing that there's a fine line between abstinence and chaos--knowing that I'm perfectly capable of crossing that line--and giving that the proper reverence, is monumentally important. This daily practice of intentional actions helps keep me sane and in the proper lane.

Today is planned, prepared, and ready. My morning routine is done, the foundation is set. It might be a rather long day with a late afternoon meeting concerning a private standup gig I've been asked to perform. I'm excited about the opportunity to perform because I love it so much, although a gig like this, especially since I'm not in regular practice, requires writing new and fresh ideas--and writing specific material based on client inspired premises...it's a challenge, for certain. But one I've had the honor of doing a couple of times in the past for this same company. Nothing confirms the success of the previous two engagements like being asked to perform for the third time. Although part of me is like...eeek!!! What if my luck and material run out?? LOL... Oh, the thoughts my lovely brain creates and tosses out there for me to juggle. It'll be fun. It'll be great!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean 

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December 3rd, 2018 Precious Reminders

December 3rd, 2018 Precious Reminders

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Yesterday was productive in a lot of ways, early, and then it was family time with mom and a few of the grandkids! Mom and I made the short drive to see Noah, Phoebe, Oliver, and my youngest daughter, Courtney yesterday late-afternoon. There's a lot of reminders every day of why the things I make important are important but none as clear and precious as spending a little time around these little ones.

We visited for a little while before mom and I made our way back to town, picked up dinner ingredients, and headed back to her apartment to watch Garth's Live At Notre Dame special on CBS. We watched and recalled how special Garth and Trisha made our meet and greet with them back in July of 2017.

I've been to a lot of meet and greets in my thirty-year broadcasting career but only one like Garth's. It was a sit-down visit in a small group, living room style--and a conversation for what seemed like twenty minutes or so before everyone gathered for pictures. Garth does things differently. Mom recalled how happy she was to tell Garth how special his music was to my little brother Shane. I mentioned how cool it was to tell him how mom predicted his success at the mid to late eighties 4th of July fireworks display for the city of Stillwater where Garth was the opening act. That event was also in a stadium--except for just a couple thousand people--and most everyone was simply waiting on the display to start--Garth was like an appetizer to the main event, but mom was watching closely--and when he finished, she turned and said, "he's going to be big someday." Garth remembered that 4th of July event and got the biggest kick out of hearing the story. Mom got big hugs and a personal thank you from Garth on that special evening.



















Today is poised to be a good Monday. I've set the foundation with my morning routine and the plan is in place to make the rest go well. As always, I'll stay tightly connected with good support--and of course, I'll make staying connected to this daily practice exceptionally important.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean 

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December 2nd, 2018 Insistence Of Truth

December 2nd, 2018 Insistence Of Truth
December 2nd, 2018 Insistence Of Truth

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Yesterday started with a firm foundation and continued to be a really good day. I was able to do what I set out to accomplish. Setting the intention, creating some accountability measures, and following through brings an incredible amount of positive energy to a day.

In yesterday's post, I wrote a familiar phrase found in recovery circles for decades, "nothing changes if nothing changes," however when I think about it a little more, it isn't completely true.

If nothing changes, then in time, the natural decline and deterioration; the progression in a less than desirable direction, will happen. Nothing stays the same forever. This thought process was one that resonated deeply with me very early in this decade-long experience. It's the basis for my mantra, "I'm choosing change before change chooses me." 

If nothing had changed, I might've been dead by now. My blood pressure would have become worse, I likely would have developed diabetes, my right leg could have been amputated, not surviving the constant threat of infection from the open sores created by intense lymphatic pooling/swelling--and who I am, or was, would be reduced to memories, stories, and pictures relayed to my grandchildren about a man they never knew.

The threat of gravely negative consequences from inaction never worked for me as a stand-alone source of motivation. I had to believe in the possibilities--those visualizations of what could be the most positive consequences of action. With some thought to the consequences of inaction, but mostly a focus on the incredible possibilities made real by positive, supportive, intentional, and measured actions, eventually I was able to start along this road.

I first wrote about "I'm choosing change before change chooses me" on Day 25 of this blog. I had a lot of learning ahead of me when the following excerpt was first written in October of 2008, but still, there's plenty of truth even though, at the time, I didn't have a better understanding and appreciation for the dynamics of how addiction works.

From Day 25 in October of 2008:
I've learned that not everyone has arrived at the proper place mentally to take on this challenge. They know that they need to, they understand the deadly effects of not doing it, they understand the wonderful benefits of doing it. But like me in that doctor's office back on June 10th, they're just not ready. 

I know I've talked about how easy this is, and in the proper mindset it does get really easy, but I also understand that if a person isn't ready to accept and adapt to a major lifestyle change, then it's nearly impossible. 

I once thought that the only way I would ever do this would be to go into a hospital like setting, where everything is done for you. A place where they control everything...what you eat, drink, sleep, exercise...The schedule and food are all handled by someone else. I really didn't know if such a place existed until just recently. I was watching Discovery Health or some channel like that. The program featured people that were much bigger than me. People that had to be rescued and put into a hospital under strict supervision. It was their only way out of certain and very soon death. It was very sad to watch and know that for some, the right mindset never happens. 

I have to thank God every day that I have been given the strength to get into the right mindset and stay true to this mission to the very end goal. I'm one of the lucky ones. It's amazing how when you think you're the only one, when you feel like you have it the worst, and you feel completely hopeless to change, you're shown somebody who can only dream of being in your present condition. 

I'm very blessed and I can't forget that. 

I had an opportunity to choose change before the changes chose me. I'm forever grateful for that strength. I pray that others will also find that strength. And it certainly doesn't come from reading this blog, it comes from a very deep and personal place within each of us. And once the decision is made to change, then perhaps this blog can be a daily booster. It's certainly helping me. ###

What strikes me as untrue from that Day 25 excerpt is a couple of things. The implication that not making positive changes is the product of some kind of "lack of strength" flaw and the idea that there's some kind of "end goal."  I was so headstrong back then, right? My goodness, Day 25 and I just knew I had it all figured out! Thank God I kept an open mind for learning along the way, although my mind had to be pried open several times by the insistence of truth via consequences.

Strength alone isn't enough. In fact, it's not what's most needed. Personal human strength rarely makes a fair fight against the dynamics of addiction. Lack of strength isn't a moral failing or an unanswered prayer. Willingness or quite simply, a desire to change things, is all that's needed to start. 

About that "end goal" idea--every diet has one, but what I discovered along the way is, if long-term sustainable results and continued wellness is what's desired, a diet isn't needed. A daily practice designed to help keep me well doesn't have an end date. With no end date, it becomes clear that in order for long-term sustainable results to be possible, the focus must be squarely on developing a personal daily practice that's designed specifically with my needs in mind. Making it a daily practice that's not only doable but enjoyable, becomes one of the goals.

Maintaining a personal daily practice helps keep the changes evolving in a positive direction.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

from The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser https://ift.tt/2RrGzQ7

December 1st, 2018 Grow and Evolve

December 1st, 2018 Grow and Evolve
December 1st, 2018 Grow and Evolve

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Yesterday turned out to be busier than expected work-wise, complete with a rare line of late-season thunderstorms warranting some coverage at the studio. It wasn't bad here--and the weather coverage was fairly simple and fast. It was a good food day too, even though it included a super late lunch and late dinner. I did send a support text late afternoon when I realized how tired and hungry I'd become. Those are two things that can quickly lead to less than supportive choices for my daily plan. Immediately composing and sending a plan to my support friend cemented a commitment--it created some accountability and his reply, although not mandatory, supported the plan. 

The one thing I've been noticing lately is how patterns, routines, and habits play a big part in my life. Some are really good while many are ones I'd prefer leaving behind. Certain areas of my life within these patterns feel like the movie Groundhog Day. The repetition trains me well because I know what to expect in the patterns. I can even vary my response along the way just enough to make it interesting.

Patterns, routines, and habits become comfort zones thanks to their familiarity. Even those I desire to change provide a level of comfort and ease--and in those patterns, I get the same outcome--again and again. As I explore this self-study of patterns, I remind myself that I have a long list of positive examples found in the areas where I've effectively rerouted the patterns over the years. I can simply look in the mirror and see evidence of these changed patterns.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. This is a common phrase heard in recovery circles and man oh man, that's the truth, isn't it?

Am I willing to change the things--those patterns, routines, and habits that keep me where I'm found day after day, month after month, and year after year? Willingness? That's a tough one for me. Maybe that surprises you given what I've accomplished over the last ten years, but I assure you--it's a question where I must start with everything I say I desire. Speaking or writing of things I desire never amounted to much. It isn't the saying that changes things, it's the doing. That's why I'm not filling this post with a long and tired "desire of change" list.

What am I willing to do differently and how will I do it? Those are the questions I must answer in support of the things I truly desire. Starting small and simple, building on it, and accumulating consistency in those different actions will grow and evolve changes in the patterns.

That's where I am. Asking myself, what can I do today that interrupts the patterns in a positive and supportive way? Small and simple is important. Sweeping, immediate, and extensive overhauls, for me, tend to be nothing more than passing spurts of incredible energy with temporary results. When the old comfort zone pattern starts looking more desirable than the possibilities ahead, I'm probably trying to change too much, too quickly. A measured approach of intentional actions combined with patience gives me the time and space I need to see the positive consequences more clearly--and that, more than a fast, furious, and impatient approach, can help me stay in the lanes of this new road construction.

I'm about to head over to the studio for a small amount of voice work--then I'm planning to prepare a good meal in the studio kitchen. I don't have a location broadcast today. I plan on visiting the gym later today. I have two memberships--the YMCA and another gym that just moved to a completely new location, so I'm excited about seeing the changes there--and imagining how this fresh new facility might effectively inspire a fresh new approach in that one area of my life.

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Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Peace,
Sean

from The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser https://ift.tt/2E8jwHe

November 30th, 2018 The Grooves

November 30th, 2018 The Grooves
November 30th, 2018 The Grooves

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

The added focus on gratitude during my morning foundation routine has made an exceptional difference. Feeling and expressing gratitude has always had its place along this road, but in a way where I would make and take an occasional pause for gratitude, usually, these were in the moment type acknowledgments. Giving gratitude reflection its own "time slot" in my personal morning routine, first thing upon waking is different--and much better for me.

The willingness to do things differently is sometimes a hard thing to find. It is, in my opinion, because I have a strong tendency to get set in my ways. I must be mindful of this dynamic. The roots of this setting seem to be firmly grounded in my deeply ingrained, yet counterproductive desire to go it alone--or figure it out--or the thoughts of, I know what to do, I just got to do it. These mental settings are all about the need to control. Letting go of this isn't and never has been easy for me. At the same time--when I have let go; closed my mouth and opened my eyes and ears, what I've received has helped shape and change things in dramatic ways.

In the areas of my life that have undergone a dramatic and positive transformation, it's almost exclusively a product of what I've learned from others who have what I want. Still, in other areas, I continue to hold the reigns tightly. Isn't that an interesting dynamic? It is to me. These patterns and grooves of our lives are not easy to give up. The grooves are created early and made stronger with each passing year and decade. Like many of us, it started young for me.

I crossed the three hundred pound mark by age thirteen. By the time I turned nineteen, I topped the scales at over five hundred pounds. I was a functional five hundred pound family man with a wife and two children by the time I turned twenty-one. My career as a radio personality made it easier for me to stay employed despite my physical limitations, however, the struggle with morbid obesity took its toll throughout my twenties and up to my mid-thirties. It wasn't long before raging high blood pressure, sleep apnea, lymphatic system damage and swelling in my legs to the extreme of skin breakage, and more undesirable consequences started making life much harder to navigate. With each serious health concern came a new wake up call and the bold declaration, “this is it, now's the time.” I made that identical declaration many times.

I cannot count the number of weight loss plans, diets, pills, shakes, and special programs I tried over the years. My dieting career included many different methods, all with the same result. If I lost anything at all, the weight always came back, and usually with a little more. The plans didn't work, I didn't work them—or a combination of those two, but ultimately my perspective didn't work.

I wanted a quick fix. I wanted something or someone to do it for me. Every weight loss attempt was simply a means to an end. If I did have any measure of success, I was constantly waiting for it to be done so I could return to my previous behaviors with food.

Things didn't start changing for me until I stopped trying to figure it all out on my own. I started listening to and watching others who had what I wanted and once and for all, I finally installed some things missing from nearly every other weight loss attempt: The willingness to be open, honest, and embrace solid accountability and support. These were game changers. I believe there's more to come for me in various other areas along this road as I utilize these same tools.

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Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Peace,
Sean


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November 29th, 2018 What Is?

November 29th, 2018 What Is?
November 29th, 2018 What Is?

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I didn't oversleep this morning! I'm so glad! Yesterday's mad rush through the morning wasn't a pleasant experience. The morning foundation routine was rushed too, just the minimum--the basics, the things I can't live without for my daily practice. If getting those done mean facing the consequences of being late for work, so be it. I'd rather face those than the consequences ready and waiting for me if I don't make time to center and prepare for the day. 

When someone is consistent in their daily practice there's often an illusion of determination, willpower, and/or a level of strength and grit beyond average levels. Writing from experience, I can assure you--it isn't any of those things. Those things can certainly work for a short period of time, but they're easily weakened by the natural ups and downs of life. 

For years and years, I hoped and prayed for--wanted it so badly, envied those who "had it" and vowed that someday I might find it too. Having found it, lost it, found it, lost it, and finally accepting and embracing a different approach and perspective took time, practice, and an open mind. 

It's can be kind of disappointing and relieving at the same time when you discover that the very things you've been searching for aren't really the things of sustainable consistency. 

So what is?

Creating a daily practice of intentional actions, a multifaceted approach that goes deeper than the food and exercise, is the best I've found so far. One day at a time. Building a personal plan of pillars or as I like to call them, "rails," give us something to support the structure of our daily practice and provides something to hold onto as we make our way.
 
I've written it and said it many times, I don't "got this" and I don't use willpower. The be all/end all lone ranger attitude of "I got this" and desperately trying to harness the elusive and mysterious willpower never brought me progress of any lasting value. It only brought struggle and disappointment.

This daily practice continues to bring me a measure of peace, calm, and clarity. If I don't give it the importance level it deserves each day, I'll quickly lose my way. If I do give it the reverence it deserves each day, then all of the things I once thought would only come as a result of a determination, willpower, and/or a level of strength and grit beyond average levels, seem to happen without those things. I don't "got" those things. I just have this practice for today. Let's do one more.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean


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November 28th, 2018 Interrupted

November 28th, 2018 Interrupted
November 28th, 2018 Interrupted

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. For whatever reason, I slept right through my 4:15am alarm this morning. I woke up with just enough time to do an abbreviated version of my morning foundation routine, make coffee to-go, shower, shave, dress, pack my planned food for the day, and hit the door to be at the studio on time. When my blog writing routine is postponed---uhg---it creates some serious anxiety!! But I did my best to set it aside and be okay. It helped having a busy morning show schedule today. I didn't have too much time to stress.

Time, and more specifically, time management has been a running issue over the last ten years of this blog. I can honestly say I'm a little better--but not where I need it to be for best results. I'm reminded of my need for better time management when someone asks me about book #2 or more podcast episodes. I'll continue working toward those things.

Attitude and daily focus plays a big role for me each day. I found an excerpt from 2010 that mentions these things--and look--it also mentions the time thing...Obviously, this is a lifelong pattern we're talking about here. Well-- I believe lifelong patterns can be interrupted because I continue to practice it each and every day and I've witnessed it in others. Lifelong patterns can be interrupted!! I use the word "interrupted" instead of "broken" because "broken" suggests a "mission accomplished" type thought in my brain--and I've learned along this road: I'm only as well as what I'm willing to do today. The daily practice keeps patterns interrupted.

From May 2010:
Time management has been a constant issue for me over the course of this journey. Finding time to get everything done that I want to do isn't really the issue, because there's time. The issue is using that time wisely and that means applying good choices to more than just my food and exercise. 

Good schedule choices are paramount to me and my situation. It's the key to me getting more sleep and it's the key to me being more productive. Those two things together help shape my attitude and daily focus. 

Attitude really is everything---it's what we feed our brains, and our actions and choices live and die by the attitude we carry. I've figured out that this attitude must be constantly adjusted in a positive direction to keep everything consistent. When my attitude is bad---that's when I struggle along this road. That's when I battle the part of me that tries to revert to old ways and choices. 

Keeping a better schedule and using my time wisely takes a little effort, but the effect it has on my performance means it takes less effort to stay focused.

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Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean


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November 27th, 2018 Important and Urgent

November 27th, 2018 Important and Urgent
November 27th, 2018 Important and Urgent

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Getting into a zone of focus at work has been very helpful lately. It certainly helped make yesterday better when we were short staffed at the studio. This ability to focus is an interesting thing because I seem to compartmentalize and apply it mainly when my back is against the wall. It's as if my brain is constantly checking the importance and urgency level of whatever it is in front of me. If something is important but not urgent, it's much harder to apply the focus it needs for change.

Obviously, I'm not writing exclusively about my work duties--this dynamic has informed most everything in my life. On things deemed important and urgent, it's helped me do wonderful things. On things that are clearly important but not urgently required, it's helped me procrastinate. I'm an eternal optimist, so I think this is a good self-study with the potential to change patterns. Patterns, those deeply ingrained grooves work like a toy slot-car track. Laying new tracks and creating new grooves for new patterns is an important and urgent thing along this road. I must remember this each new day.

I wanted to share an excerpt I've likely shared before. It was originally published in 2015. The thing about it is, the dynamics it describes have played over and over along the way. The tools we choose to use can help change things along this road. Opening ourselves to create accountability and receive support goes against the pattern of isolation. Isolation deteriorates. Support builds: 

From June 10th, 2015's "Eat My Way Out"

It could have been a disaster.

My stress level was exceptionally high today. I started fielding errant thoughts mid-afternoon that excessive food might be the best option. Isn't that strange?

Not really.

If you add up all the years of experience I have in handling stress that way, it makes perfect sense. I'm really good at it.

I decided it was best for me to take a nap. Perhaps I'm just really tired, maybe that's why I'm feeling this way, I thought. I snoozed for nearly two hours. It was a solid nap. I woke up and viola...

I still wanted to eat my way out of the stress.

Of course, you and I both know it doesn't work that way. Shoveling in massive quantities of food only serves as a temporary distraction--a pleasurable one for a little while, at least, until the flood of guilt, shame, disgust and more start cascading in, on top of whatever was stressful in the first place. Excess food isn't a fixer. 

My awareness level is high, thank goodness. I immediately realized my lifestream and fundamental elements stream were becoming dangerously close to crossing. I must never let the streams cross!

Now what? Uhg...part of my brain was screaming feeeeed meeeeee!!! And another part was trying to rationally dissect what was happening.

Through my experience in support, I realized quickly that I needed to get this out of my head. When these thoughts are exclusive to our head, they're powerful and controlling. When we tell on them, shining a light on them by sharing with good support friends, suddenly they're called out--like a bully that gets caught and is suddenly on their best behavior after being exposed.

I texted several of my friends in support, explaining what was happening; how I was feeling. I felt relieved as soon as I hit the send button. It wasn't exclusive to my brain anymore. It was out there.

The text support replies started coming and by this time, I felt empowered to overcome.

And I did.

I enjoyed some coffee, planned, prepared and precisely weighed an amazing meal and made it to the YMCA for an elliptical workout. I even bumped it up to level 19. By the end of the workout, the episode this afternoon seemed very far away.

It could have been a disaster. But it wasn't. It was a solid reminder that I'm not ever immune to those old reactions. The coping mechanisms providing the perfect recipe for morbid obesity are like old tools I don't need anymore. I've learned how to use better tools.

I must always hold the elements of my recovery sacred. And good support is one of the pillars of the plan helping make that happen consistently. It's a tool I can't live without.

Thank goodness.

Like my coffee cup says, I get by with a little help from my friends.

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Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean


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November 26th, 2018 Not So Simple

November 26th, 2018 Not So Simple
November 26th, 2018 Not So Simple

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I'm grateful for the time I've had over the extended holiday weekend. I didn't accomplish everything I set my sights on, but all in all, it was good. Yesterday was a slow day and honestly, I needed that. The high winds, blowing light snow, and frigid temperatures encouraged me to stay inside, however--I had to go to the store and studio for just a little while, so I bundled up! Our cold snap is nothing compared to the winter storm in other parts of the country. We got lucky here in the weather department!

I tried chickpea pasta last night. This lentil based pasta was recommended by an Italian friend of mine and if he gives it a thumbs up--that's good enough for me. It was a great alternative to whole wheat based options. Combined with 96% lean beef and refined sugar-free marinara, it's been added to my list of meal options. Very satisfying and so far, no triggers for more more more.

The food plan is always evolving. I must give special consideration to everything I add or take away from my list of options. Fortunately, after this long--the list of options is more than enough and as long as I continue honoring my food plan in the way of prepping, weighing, measuring, and preparing, I feel good about it. My trigger list is firm and is always ready for additions. Making additions to that list requires a large measure of self-honesty. Usually, it's fairly simple and obvious what must be on my personal trigger list, other times--not so simple. The important thing, in my opinion, is keeping the food plan under consideration at all times and be open to changes that accomplish one of two things: Add to my day to day variety or add to my personal trigger list.

I just received word that we're short-handed at the studio today. That doesn't always translate to a busier day, but it certainly can. It'll mean doing two different morning shows on two different stations at the same time--which, on the surface sounds daunting--but thanks to the technology of our studios--and that fact that they're across the hall from one another, really isn't. It's a challenge--but in a way, it's kind of fun. Okay--I'll go have fun now.

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This portion worked for my food plan last night. Adjustments could be made to make it smaller. 4oz of mini-beef meatballs instead of 5oz, one serving of the chickpea pasta instead of 1.5, and one serving of the marinara instead of two--and suddenly this meal checks in between 400 and 500 calories. Oh-- and the 55 calories of shredded cheese--really not needed! That would make it even lower. I think it makes a nice, adjustable, tasty addition to my list of available options.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

from The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser https://ift.tt/2SeGMWL

November 25th, 2018 I'm The Same

November 25th, 2018 I'm The Same
November 25th, 2018 I'm The Same

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Creating the plan for yesterday, sharing it with support friends and on this blog, and then, once the accountability measures were set, doing the intended plan of action, worked well. I decided to eat a late lunch ahead of the family gathering instead of waiting until after. That decision was a good move but set me up for some challenges later in the night. More on that later...

I was asked to assemble the plates for a couple of family members, who, due to obesity--were physically unable to do it themselves. The ironic circumstance was something I didn't plan for or expect. I was fine doing the action--but horribly sad and conflicted at the same time. It was a strange mental/emotional dynamic. I love my family so much. One of the things I'm grateful for is the amount of love, compassion, and understanding I have for anyone along this road. I don't pass judgment or shame, ever, because I'm right there with them. I get it. I'm the same. With family, even more so because we share DNA.

One thing that's really hard to accept is how we can't do it for anyone else. There are certain places along this road that can only be found within the individual. And we're all at different places. I don't push, ever, because you can't carry someone forward to a place that skips the personal experiences and epiphanies needed to embrace a different way that effectively interrupts their pattern of experience, and informing, in a positive way, their trajectory from that place forward.

I'm simply open and available to answer questions and/or offer ideas and suggestions if asked. Willingness can't be transferred from one person to another. And lack of willingness isn't a measure of strength or a negative at all. It's just a place--a mental space, and it isn't always permanent. I get it. 

You never know what might spark inspiration in someone. You never know how that spark might ignite a fire within that burns and yearns for change. You just never know. You can hope for it. You can pray for it. You can meditate and marinate on it. But you can't create it for anyone else, ever. 

You simply love and understand. Extending love, understanding, and compassion might contribute to a place within someone, where finding their way starts to feel possible.

The disease of compulsive overeating and food addiction is a complicated thing. Not everyone has it. But for those of us (like me) who do, it isn't simply cured. But it can be managed with a plan of recovery that essentially puts it in remission as long as the daily practice is held with the highest regard--the kind of reverence that someone in long-term recovery from alcohol or drugs applies to their sobriety. This is why I'm big on developing a plan practice that is enjoyable and doable. A lot of what can make it something to look forward to, instead of something to dread--doesn't involve the food and exercise portion of our daily actions--no--it involves our own personal practice of spirituality (whatever that might be for you) and the practice of developing other "pillars," like meditation, planning, logging, accountability and support measures--and mainly, being open-minded enough in order to learn along the way. 

Anyway-- so, last night...  

I sipped water and engaged in wonderful conversation with family members at the gathering. I had eaten earlier. This helped keep me focused on the plan. I did see some selections that could have worked for me--but few, and I wasn't spending twelve bucks for a plate of mushrooms and veggies. I could have--but that wasn't the plan.

It was an enjoyable experience. My cousin Debbie and my Aunt Margaret showed up and several other family members I rarely see were there. It was the last get-together for my Aunt Jean and Uncle Sig's annual visit from Michigan. We were there for nearly three hours. It was great!

Mom and I made the 42-mile trip back to Ponca City last night while discussing how the visit and Thanksgiving week festivities were wonderful.

Here's the "more on that later" part:

When I arrived back at my apartment, I was physically hungry and just plain spent physically and in some ways, emotionally. My late lunch and no dinner left some calories in my budget, so preparing something to eat wasn't a bad idea. But my brain--my goodness...

Here's the deal: If I'm tired, hungry, and feeling spent in a variety of ways--I'm vulnerable, period. This was the perfect opportunity for compulsive thoughts to creep in, taking advantage of my weakened state. In those moments, recognizing and acknowledging what's happening isn't always an easy thing to do. It takes considerable pause and intentional actions. I took action, thank God.

I texted a plan for the following forty-five minutes to a support friend--because hey--sometimes it's one hour at a time, right? Then I proceeded to do the plan declared.

I made the simplest thing I could think of--scrambled eggs with cheese and black olives on top. It fit into my budget, I completed the day in MyFitnessPal, I enjoyed the food--it satisfied the physical need, and I started watching a docu-series on Netflix. I made it twenty minutes in before realizing I was likely to fall asleep on the couch if I didn't move to the bed--so that's what I did. I was done thinking about the day and contemplating the experiences. I set the sleep timer for fifteen minutes on an episode of the Hidden Brain podcast and I might have made it five minutes before I fell asleep.

I slept-in wonderfully this morning. It felt great. I needed it.

Today will include getting some things done at the studio, catching up with members of my support group, doing some intentional exercise--possibly at the YMCA, and a little more relaxing on this final day of the Thanksgiving break.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

from The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser https://ift.tt/2P2lhXs

November 24th, 2018 Finding Solutions

November 24th, 2018 Finding Solutions
November 24th, 2018 Finding Solutions

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

The visit with family has gone exceptionally well this week. Another big gathering today at a Chinese buffet place in our hometown will bring together even more family. Mom isn't accustomed to being on the go this much, but she's loving it! She's been coming and going so much lately, the nurses' joke with her, "leaving us again, Miss Beverly?"  Today's excursion to Stillwater will be another wonderful opportunity to connect and visit with family we don't see very often.

I can navigate most restaurants. I go in knowing the boundaries of my food plan and knowing, without question, what I need and what is off limits for me in order for it to be an on-plan meal. I'm not afraid to ask specifically for what I need. I don't mind ordering items separately, assembling a meal that works for me, in fact, I did that yesterday at the Mexican restaurant, assembling a fajita chicken salad with only on-plan ingredients--that was fairly simple and I've done it countless times. However, not all restaurants are created equal--and today's restaurant gathering is a completely different story.

I've tried to make this Chinese buffet place work for my food plan. I've scanned the offerings and I've asked detailed questions about the ingredients used. The answers were not in line with my food plan--at all. Now, to be fair, if I were a salad lover, I could certainly make this place work. I'm not. I've never been a salad lover. Yes--the chicken fajita salad thing yesterday worked well and was thoroughly enjoyed--but it's different. That salad used shredded lettuce and contained a nice combination of on-plan ingredients I truly enjoy. A salad bar typically doesn't contain those things--and it typically uses leafy lettuce--and I'm strangely picky about the cut of my lettuce. Those that know me well would laugh at that last sentence because they know my "lettuce issues." I tell ya what--let's not call them "issues." I prefer "preferences." But anyway--I veered off point. My point is...

A Chinese buffet place simply doesn't work for me. Aside from the issues of refined sugar and/or deep fried most everything, there's a psychological element involving my 164-pound relapse/regain period. One of my biggest binge foods involved a dish from a local Chinese restaurant (I'll spare you the glorified food porn description) containing every possible trigger known to me at this point in time: High fat, high refined sugar, refined flour, deep fried, loads of carbs---and somewhere hiding underneath all those trigger ingredients, chicken. I remember ordering that time and time again--and every time, feeling a billion miles away from any semblance of a plan--and truly, feeling scared, hopeless, sad, depressed---and really hoping that this time, the magic trigger dish might take me away from all of those emotions and worry, if not permanently-- maybe for a little while...just let me dive into that illusion of comfort and forget about things. In that pattern, the temporary reprieve became shorter and shorter and I needed more and more to keep on living in the chaos of my addiction.

Why don't you simply request a change in location for the family dinner? Because I'm putting food in its proper place. I will eat before or after the get-together. It's seriously not a big deal. I will focus on visiting (which is the main purpose of the event in the first place), and I'll drink water. The last time (a year ago) we held a family gathering there, I did the same thing and honestly, I don't think very many noticed I wasn't eating. I was engaged and enjoying the conversations. Those that might have noticed know me well enough to know, I'm fine, I've got a food plan, and I'll take care of me.

That's the thing. Maintaining the boundaries of my food plan is my responsibility, not anyone else's. There was a time in my life when I would put that responsibility on other people and circumstances, conveniently playing the victim in an effort to enable my compulsive eating behaviors. "Everyone picked that place, what could I do? I had to eat--I didn't want to offend anybody or be rude! Oh well, I'll do better next time." In that old line of thinking, I made everyone else and the circumstances surrounding every event, responsible for keeping the integrity of my food plan. I could easily rationalize my wildly off-plan choices by pointing to the variables in play and in that, I was off the hook. The bottom line is, when we stop looking for outs we start finding solutions.

Of course, if it was simply one or two people meeting me for dinner, I might request we pick a different place. But I'm not asking a dozen or more people to change their plans so I can order some chicken tacos!  
--------------
I rarely include a guest post of sorts--but today, I want to share some powerful words from Michael Funaro in Las Vegas. He was very gracious and open in approving my share request. Thank you, Michael! I first met Michael in 2014. Along with my friend Jon from Wisconsin, the three of us enjoyed a dinner and visit.

Michael's story and path is similar to many of us along this road--actually, very similar to most of us. The ups and downs, the losing and regaining--the old diet mentality type stuff--he's been there/done that, too. Michael is a member of the support group I facilitate where he stays connected and shares regularly. He practices his plan each day--and he does it amid incredible challenges. He's incredibly humble and has a beautiful respect for the fragility of it all along this road. Michael inspires me. The following is a post he shared exclusively with our group--and now, with his permission, I'm sharing it with you. 

From Michael Funaro:

What a difference a year makes! Happy Black Friday to all of you that will partake. Me, I stay as far away from stores today as possible.

One year ago my life was so different. When I was writing in my journal last night, the entry above it for 2017 on this day stated, "I wonder what the box below will hold on this day next year? I hope and pray that it will be better than today."

I think back to last Black Friday. I had a huge food hangover from probably 10,000 calories of sugar and carbs. I know my blood sugar was well North of 300 on that morning. I was miserable, my attitude sucked and I was at least 120 lbs heavier (probably closer to 150).

I know our ultimate goal is the weight, but the journey can be so rewarding too. We have all those great NSV's along the way. Little ones to big ones. For me, I'm so thankful for the biggest one today. I took my blood sugar this morning and it was 108. So thankful for that. Some of you are either directly or indirectly affected by diabetes and it's such a devastating disease. It affects so much of our body and it's silent for a long time until it strikes. For me, it's so nice to have this NSV this morning that shows me that what I am doing isn't always about just the scale moving. But what happens along that journey to the ultimate goal.

Don't look back next year on this day and think, "IF only I would have started my healthy lifestyle a year ago, where would I be today?" Take it from me. What a difference one year can make. Do it today!

Do you have any NSV's today you are happy about? I'd love to hear them if you do. Mine are too long to list, but the blood sugar is my tops of the day! Have a great day everyone!
-----
Thank you, again, Michael! You can email Michael at mfunaro28@gmail.com

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

from The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser https://ift.tt/2Bwccml

November 23rd, 2018 Keep Me In The Joy

November 23rd, 2018 Keep Me In The Joy

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Thanksgiving was a wonderful experience. It was a great visit with family, a good meal, and I met my goals yesterday.

For someone like me, not compulsively overeating on a day like Thanksgiving takes a plan and some structure, just like any other day--but certainly a little more on a holiday. It always starts with meditation and prayer--and a humble acknowledging of the facts: The same behaviors, patterns, obsessions, and focus that kept me at over 500 pounds for almost two decades- are all there, they're just in dormancy. It's not like I'm somehow magically cured. I wish it worked that way. In order to remain in recovery and doing well, it takes a daily practice of intentional actions. There isn't a day when I can casually "play" with those old behaviors and expect to be well. For those who truly do not live with food addiction/compulsive overeating, they can "go all out and off the rails" and still be okay. I'm not one of those people! 

Aside from the regular plan structure of any day--the morning routine, the food plan, the staying connected with support, a day like yesterday featured some added strategies designed to keep me in the joy.

My specific plan for Thanksgiving dinner was: No refined sugar and a one plate limit. My plate looked pretty much the same as it has every holiday over the last several years.

The added measures--or intentional actions, or whatever you want to call them-- things designed to keep me in the joy... I like that... were: I gave myself things to focus on during the festivities. I focused on the people, on the visiting/togetherness--and I had two "missions" to focus on. I decided to take as many pictures as I could--finding good moments to snap 'em. I also had a secret challenge to accomplish: Find out something interesting that I didn't know about someone I've known my entire life. That's really an easy thing to do--it just takes a genuine interest, questions, listening, and a conversation. Focusing on these two things further helped take me "out of myself" and fully into the best parts of the get-together. By the end of the experience, I had maintained the boundaries of my food plan, snapped a bunch of pictures, and I learned some very interesting things about my Uncle Sig's 1960's experience as a soldier going through basic training in the US Army.

Shifting the focus changes things. I enjoyed my meal, of course, and I also fully enjoyed the things that made the day extra special. I suppose for some, that all comes naturally--it doesn't for me, hence the practice of intentional actions.

I'm enjoying some time off today! I slept in very well! It was wonderful! I'll be having lunch out today with my aunt, uncle, and mom. It'll be great!

Okay--picture time!!!

Mom and Me
















































Noah was in fine form! That kid--my goodness!!
























With Mom's sister

























Uncle Sig









































































My little grandson, Oliver!



















Courtney and my granddaughter Phoebe

























Amber and granddaughter Raegan

























I love this photo of Amber and Irene!

























Rae Rae

























The end of the night-with mom




















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

from The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser https://ift.tt/2QeQ1Jd

November 22nd, 2018 Center Stage-Thanksgiving

November 22nd, 2018 Center Stage-Thanksgiving

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Good morning and Happy Thanksgiving! I'm full of gratitude this morning for a very long list of things. My goodness, I must tell you--when I include my gratitude list in my morning routine, it helps everything that follows.

Yesterday was an exceptionally long day for me. I started super early and wasn't done with the day until after 1am. But, there was a positive perspective and spring in my stride--and on days where the schedule is unrelenting, that's a challenging perspective to maintain. It all goes back to gratitude.

I've outlined my plan for today. My morning foundational routine is finished, the turkey is in the oven, and there's more cooking to get done. By popular family request, I'm preparing my old-school mac and cheese---it's rich, rich, rich...I typically don't chew gum, but it's an important strategy for me as I prepare this dish: Chewing gum and not licking, tasting, and flat out eating!!

I'm making support contacts very important today too--being available, open, giving and receiving...very important for me. As far as the food--I'm committed to doing the one plate plan with the proper consideration of my non-negotiable elements.

Here's the thing: The structure of my plan, the support, the tips and tricks, the boundaries---all of these things are no match for my disease of food addiction and compulsive overeating. These things can help me have a good on-plan day-- but I must be willing to do the actions for each thing. And above all--I must always remember the importance of maintaining the daily practice. I don't "got this" and I'm never beyond relapse. I humble myself each morning when I acknowledge this fact and ask for help.

I will make the people, the conversations, my grandkids, daughters, mom, and other family members--the stars of the show. The food will be great but it will not be the star of today. Gratitude and family will take center stage.

I can't believe this is my eleventh Thanksgiving along this road!! I'm very grateful to be here--and to you for reading these writings each day.

I found a Thanksgiving VLog video! A good reminder--I need to do more videos--so much fun!


I'm planning on taking plenty of pictures today. I'll share some in the morning!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

from The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser https://ift.tt/2S9QYQA