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I made a throwaway account because I felt too ashamed to say it on my main account. I apologize in advance for the wall of text I'm about to post but I really needed to vent so here goes;
Since I was little, I was always overfed especially when it came to my grandmother. She was my caretaker since both my parents were working almost all the time. She would fit a small hill of food on my plate because she thought that's what I needed to eat to feel full. Being given this much food for breakfast and lunch, I became overweight quite quickly especially since at this point in time I had just received my ps2 and was sitting all day long just playing video games. Even my pediatrician at the time told me that I was overweight and needed to lose some weight. At four years old, I was told to avoid T.V. and go on a diet. This didn't last long, I ate what the doctor told me for a week with minimal tv time and went back to my old habits.
Fast forward to elementary school and middle school, for the most part I was pretty social as a kid in elementary school. I had plenty of friends and had no problems socializing with other kids, I was never an introvert by any means. Middle school is when the bullying started to happen. I was made fun of for my weight almost everyday and my social-ness started to decline. I was more conservative and quiet in order to catch the attention of my bullies. In addition to this, I played more video games than ever, spending more time sitting in my room. My social awkwardness made me extremely shy in public and extremely insecure with my body and avoided going outside as much as possible.
High school, my weight was at an all time high and in turn, my introvert mindset was completely solidified. I was always the kid in the back, super quiet all the time and went home to comfort eat and sit all day to play video games. Video games were pretty much my escape from reality and having to deal with being overweight and social awkwardness. My self confidence was completely shattered. I weighed over 300 pounds at just starting school. My doctors and parents constantly told me to look after myself and to exercise. I ignored their requests and continued living in a digital fantasy.
I graduated this year in June and these past couple of months have been some of the worst ever. I finished whole boxes of pizza, ate fast food at least four times per week, and sat all day playing video games. From the time I woke up, to when I went to bed, I was sat all day long. This past month I had to get a polynidal cyst removed because of how much I sat. During this, I had my blood checked and that's when all my problems started.
The doctor told me that my liver is very damaged due to my fat, I was on the brink of getting diabetes, and that my arteries were damaged too (to what degree, he didn't say). He told me that fortunately the damage I had done to my liver and me getting diabetes was reversible. My arteries, however, would be a lot harder to unclog. I would basically have to be very very skinny for my arteries to start clearing a little. I now have three months until my next visit to the doctor, he gave me a very strict diet and told me to walk at least three miles a day. Today was my first day.
I had been subscribed to this subreddit for two years now because I made empty promises to myself in the past to lose weight but never followed through. I felt discouraged whenever I saw progress pictures instead of encouraged. I was completely envious of everyone on here. This is now my wake up call unfortunately . I waited until the absolute worst to happen to me before I started to make a difference. That's what I'm ashamed about. I hope this post fits within the rules because I really just needed to talk to someone to vent.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2OkZcD3
