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This time last year I weighed 88kg(194 lbs) after slowly dropping from 92(202), 6 months ago I was at 81(178), lowest in a few years.
In July I was feeling "a little" burnt out, so I cut down(unplanned, it was just a complete loss of all motivation) on my exercising and reverted to a more normal home diet, but nothing drastic. In August I started exercising again, pretty intensely(all cardio), and I was at ~84-86 depending on a day. In september I felt burnt out again so I took another break for a few weeks. In October I started exercising harder than ever in many years(again, all cardio), putting in the most mileage(cycling) in a single month since 2011. I weighed myself for a few days at the end of October..
I now weigh 92-94 kilograms (202-207). Sure some may be muscle, but I have a handy way to measure fat on my wrist joint using my thumb and index finger, I can no longer make them meet, in july I could, now they are a centimeter apart.
How does this even happen? That much??? That is over 75,000 kcal sufficit! I knew I was violating my CICO a bit but seriously, THAT MUCH in that little time???
How the hell do I stay motivated? How can I win if taking a total of 6-8 weeks of a break absolutely destroys and shatters ALL progress of the last 700+ painful days?
I am so desparate I even considered taking up smoking to replace my food crawings and cheat hunger a few times (I will definitely not do that though, way too afraid of the health risks, just writing it to display my state of despair).
I am now looking into intermittent fasting to help me out, but I am afraid that it will just make me binge even more afterwards.
I can't do KETO because of my bicycling which is one of few pleasures I have in my daily life, I'd hate to make it feel miserable by removing carbs which are desperately needed on rides over 2 hours long.
My breakfasts are usually either a sandwich(single small loaf of bread(only bread I ever eat during a day), with two slices of cooked ham and a slice of cheese) which keeps me going for about 4 hours, or an oatmeal with chia seeds and either a grated apple or a spoon of cocoa powder to give it some taste and nutrients.
Lunch varies wildly but I try to not overdo it, these is never any desert either.
There is a small sweet treat between lunch and dinner mostly.
Dinner is usually lunch leftovers. A few hours before sleep (I just cant sleep if I'm hungry).
Before July I was taking care of my CICO and macros with the help of MFP, progress was slow-ish but it was there, I am hoping to get some tips to turbocharge my progress at least for a little while, to help me get back on track, and perhaps help with motivation.
I am male, in my mid 20es if it matters.
So, any tips, anything, please?
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