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Hey everyone!
First time poster, long time lurker. I'm sorry if this is going to get a bit rambly, but I could really use some advice.
So, nearly four years ago, I [F] set out to lose weight and change my diet. I started at 179 lbs and at my lowest weight, I was 137 lbs. I wanted to get to around 125-130 lbs, which I thought was a fair goal given my height of 5'1". I did this through exercise and CICO.
Things eventually sort of went crazy in my personal life about a year and a half ago and while I never gained back all my weight, I've remained at about 144 lbs for the last year and a half. It does suck not to be losing any more weight, but I'm sort of glad that I've remained relatively stable.
I've tried "getting back on track," so to speak. A lot of times. I always seem to be fine for anywhere from a week to about a month, then I fall off the wagon. I've realized why: I've stopped having that control I used to over my eating. I used to be able to go to social events and enjoy myself without overindulging. But now, I feel like I just can't. If it's bread or desserts, I can't help myself. It's like some part of my mind says, "Screw it, have a second piece of cake/have a second cookie" where I never used to do that before. It doesn't help that I haven't been able to manage my time as far as going to the gym/working out. In other words, my work outs have been sporadic at best.
I kind of know how to fix the work out thing (it really boils down to me learning some time management), but it's the eating that concerns me more than anything else. Even though I track calories, it doesn't seem to stop me. I'm wondering if I'm using food as a comfort or reward. Ie: "I've had it so tough I deserve this" or "I worked really hard this week, a second slice wouldn't hurt." I say this because while I used to have "off periods" when I was losing weight, I was always motivated to get back on track, try again and actually succeed. I noticed this change especially occurred after everything happened in my personal life. While I don't attend therapy regularly anymore (as my issues were more situational than they were long-term), is this something I should discuss with them at some point?
Anyways, I'm really sorry for rambling. If anyone has any advice, it's more than welcomed. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
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