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I’ve lost over 30lbs in the last couple of months and while everyone I know keeps saying how much of a difference they see in me, I could never see it. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I avoided looking at myself whenever possible, so now I wouldn’t even know what changes to look for. I’ve been being kind of hard on myself for the last week or so because I was stuck in a plateau. I keep losing and gaining the same 5 pounds and it’s really frustrating. I weighed myself this morning and got irrationally angry because I’m 2.5lbs more than I was a couple of days ago. But the thing is, i know I’ve been eating okay. I know I’m staying in my deficit. I know it’s probably just water weight. Still I was pissed at myself.
A bit later I was in the kitchen and scratched at my chest and could feel something..hard? I was confused for a second and quickly realized it was my collar bones. Obviously. But the thing is that I’ve never been able to feel them so prominent before. So I rushed to the bathroom, pull my shirt collar down and lo behold, I CAN SEE THEM!! I know this probably doesn’t seem like a big deal for most people but it is for me. Never in my teenage years or now in my adult life (20 yrs old) have I ever been able to see my collar bones. I thought I just wasn’t built in the way other people were and that they’d never be visible. I’m kind of freaking ecstatic. I’ve always found visible collar bones to be aesthetically pleasing. Don’t know why but I do. So to be able to see my own is a confidence boost which is very helpful right now. Just to be clear, I don’t want to be able to see every bone on my body. I’m striving to be at a healthy weight, not underweight. The collar bone thing is just a weird personality quirk I guess lmao.
So yeah. I’m a lot happier right now than I was a couple hours ago. I need to start being more gentle with myself. Clearly I’m making progress, however slowly it may come. Slow and steady wins the race right?
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