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This is the situation – sorry this is long!
Live with my wife and youngest daughter – oldest away at university.
I’m doing Slimming World, which DOES work for me, BUT:
SW depends on eating what are designated as “free” foods (fruit, vegetables, lean meats, fish, minimal bread and dairy) and filling up on “speed” foods (basically fruits and non-starchy vegetables). So far, so good.
Now, in our house we have rules around eating:
Everybody has the same meal;
Everybody eats at the same time;
There is one, and only one, set of food shopping done per week.
These rules are inviolable. At least they are inviolable without massive, blazing rows erupting.
The issue comes from the fact that my wife has food issues – she was at least borderline for an eating disorder as a teenager, and her relationship with food is still not great. She has spent most of her life on faddy diets, but has finally settled on a CICO approach using MFP.
There are issues from this.
Until about six months ago she didn’t care at all about fitness (she runs a bit now);
She is largely unconcerned with nutrition. Basically she is ruled entirely by being under the daily calorie limit from MFP and what this gives as a weight on the scales;
Due to IBS she has a very restricted diet (no apples, pears, stone fruits, berries, leafy vegetables, citrus fruits, onions/leeks, tomatoes, aubergines, courgettes etc. Also no whole grains and very limited spices).
Basically, I’m finding it almost impossible to comply with the SW approach. The meals she cooks tend to not be at all filling, being small and calorie-dense. And bland... The SW idea of filling up on a shit ton of near-calorie free foods so you don’t feel hungry just isn’t viable. About thirty minutes after a meal I feel like eating my own leg!
I am perfectly willing to shop and cook. If I shop, however, my wife doesn’t have control of what food we buy in. If I cook, it means everybody eats late at night (I’m often not back until quite late and by the time I will have cooked anything it’s getting very late – far too late for my teenage daughter).
Add in to this that my elder daughter when she was last back caused considerable upset by stating that she feels she has a bad relationship with food because of the behaviour she saw/sees at home. She identified my overeating in the past (which she feels seems to be under control now) and my wife’s almost adversarial relationship (which my daughter thought is getting worse, not better).
As I say, sorry for the thesis, but there’s a lot going on.
Any suggestions on how to improve this?
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