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Alright loseit. I’ve seen this sub work magic. Its my turn. I’m 5’4 and 191. Im a 22 yr old female. I’m 4 months postpartum. I was 134 pre-pregnancy. Reached 204. My baby had inter uterine growth restriction. I had to eat absolutely nonstop to help her gain ounces. My dilemma is that I have a very long history with anorexia. My lowest weight as an adult was 72 pounds. Due to my own bullshit I have a pretty severe heart condition. Hence dilemma two. I can hit extreme tachycardia (lower 200’s). Surgery is on the table just not yet. I’m kind of an all or nothing person. I eat too much or not at all. I used to fast for 4 days straight and then set myself to a very lower caloric goal for the remaining three days. I’ve come so close to losing my life to that disease and I can’t let it happen again. However it’s a slippery slope. I’ve only ever lost weight healthy once; which then turned to my worst relapse. I’m a little nervous reddit, but I’m tired of hating this body that gave me the most amazing gift I could have ever imagined. I’ve been finding myself eating nothing but dinner and then maxing before bed. So horrible, I know. I have a hard time to get in a normal eating routine. Especially with a clingy four month old. Im a former runner and dancer but can no longer do those thank to my heart. I love to walk. I had been walking six miles 2-3 times a week but it’s getting cold here and I’m worried about subjecting my baby to it. My husband is no help whatsoever so whatever workouts I do, she’s gotta be able to join. Workout on the floor are preferable Incase I faint. I carry my weight in my midsection and thighs. I am breastfeeding. I’m on disability so I’m pretty flexible to workouts and whatever the consequences may be. I just want to be okay with myself. I know I’m super distorted, but this is the heaviest I’ve ever ever been. I want to feel comfortable in my skin. I know how it works, consume less calories than you burn, but I’m not sure I know how to do that “normally”. In moderation, I mean. This is turning into a rant session, lol. Thanks loseit. I’m excited to share this journey with you all. (I do have a therapist specialized in eating disorders whom I see on a weekly basis that I’m going to let know that I plan to lose weight. She will keep my on track)
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