 |
| Advertisement |
This is kind of a shot in the dark for help, but I need advice. I really am not sure how, or even if I can, turn my life around. Five years ago I felt like I had everything going for me. I had recently recovered from an 8 year eating disorder and was feeling healthy and strong. I was a normal weight, was developing a good relationship with food, and found a great deal of joy and pride in daily exercise like weight lifting and competing in races.
Fast forward two years: I developed a chronic intestinal disorder that turned my world upside down. It was like my stomach forgot how to digest food. No matter what I ate, about 50-80% of the time I'd wind up with extreme pain, nausea, or my body violently expelling the food one way or another. I became terrified of food again and even stopped leaving my house because I never knew when I'd get sick. Going to the gym or for a run was totally out of the question after a few humiliating "accidents," and somewhere along the line I completely gave up on myself. If I was going to be miserable and sick regardless, I might as well gorge myself on comfort food, right?
Three years later my condition is mostly stable thanks to an incredibly expensive daily cocktail of prescriptions, but I've gained about 50 pounds since the ordeal began and am now considered obese. While the symptoms of my illness have lessened, the habits and fears that developed over the last few years aren't budging, not to mention the fatigue and shame that comes from so much extra weight. Even when I do feel well enough to leave the house or maybe attempt an easy workout, that old nagging voice reminds me: "What if you get sick? You'll embarrass yourself again. There's no point. You'll never be healthy again anyway. Give up." And so I turn back to food and the cycle continues.
Has anyone been through something like this? Is it even possible to be fit and healthy in a sick body? What do you do when you feel so hopeless that you want to throw in the towel?
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2S9IgBO
