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I'm in the middle of my weightloss journey. I've lost 80 pounds, and I have another 50 to go before I'm at a "healthy" weight.
I've never been this size as an adult. I have been overweight my whole life. And this metamorphosis is more than just physical. Sometimes I feel alive and electric. Sometimes I feel lost.
I don't know what I looked like now, and I dont know what I'll look like when I'm done. I have no frame of reference for my current size. I look at other women as they walk by and wonder if I'm bigger or smaller than them. I feel like the tags on my clothes are a lie. There must be some mistake, or they're sized wrong.
I can't tell if clothes will fit me or not. I'm scared of tight, and then I realize that it's not as tight as I thought.
I feel different, mentally. I have noticed I'm picking up some anxieties that I've never had before. I am more critical of my appearance than before. I loved my body, my face, and my style. Now it's a struggle to accept who I am even though I weight much less.
The person I am becoming doesn't feel like anyone I've been before. I am scared to arrive at my goal weight a stranger. It's almost uncanny.
Does anyone else feel this way?
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